To work or not to work?

Well another Christmas come and gone. Although this one was by far the best one because of our baby. She was so excited when she got each gift, and she has litterally spent the last two days playing with all her new toys. She looks so grown up, playing on the floor. She doesn't even notice that we are in the room! She got a baby doll for Christmas and when she opened the pkg she said 'BABY!' which pretty much melted my heart. The family left this morning, and I've spent the day trying to organize all the new items into our lives. My husband bought me a beautiful painting which we hung over the couch. It has so many pretty colors, and is very calming and relaxing. I love it!

On another note, I'm starting to pannick about my maternity leave coming up in February. I'm now faced with the same dilema every new Mom has; to go back to work or not...I am litteraly having nightmares about leaving my baby with someone else, that I won't be the one to teach her things, to spend this precious time with her, but at the same time, I need money because I have accumulated debt over the years that I just don't think my husband should be paying for. It's these things that they don't tell you about when you have a baby. I thought for sure by the time my baby was approaching a year, I would be fine to leave her with a daycare, but she's still so small..I saw a dream job posted today and I'm torn as to what to do..Do I apply, even though i don't really want a full time job that starts..ahhem..in JANUARY! I'm still nursing, and she's still getting up once to twice a night, and I just signed up for swimming lessons and two strollersize classes and bla bla bla..I could go on forever for the reasons why I shouldn't apply. But there are two very big reasons why I should apply..1) Because it's a dream job, it's something I would LOVE and would be good at. 2) It will give me my maternity leave next year when I plan to have another baby, and even job security for when I need to go back again...ugghhh what to do, what to do?

My husband said there is no harm in sending in my resume, and if I get an interview, go and sell myself, and if they really wanted me they may be willing to compromise..i.e less hours, start later..Here's hoping..unless I win that lottery..along with everyone else in the world..