A change is happening, a shift inside me. It's hard to explain but I'll do my best to describe it. I've noticed it the last two days, which is odd because we're only 2 days into the New Year. It's definitely not one of those New Year's resolution kind of shifts, because I've never experienced this before. I've had glimpses of it; once when I was just a new mother, and I drove to the next town, I forget what for now, but as I drove this feeling came over me of sheer happiness. I had nowhere to be, no expectations of the day...I just saw that day for what it was; a beautiful day, with sun shining, snow melting, my baby and I driving, and all was calm and good. That lasted only a minute or so though, and yet these last two days that is all I have felt.

I noticed it yesterday as I was flipping through the channels on TV. I wasn't listening to the words they were saying, but rather focusing on the season in the background, and drawing my own fond memories of that season. For example, it was raining in one scene, I thought about the last good rain we've had here, and what I like to do on rainy days. And then I switched to a channel showing people on the beach and I thought 'ahh summer, I can't wait'. And these feelings washed over me of every summer I've ever had. It was amazing. Today, ( a dreery kind of day mind you) I drove to the grocery store and with coffee in hand I breathed deeply and thought 'ok, let's do this!' And as I shopped I really thought about each food I was choosing..where it came from, how many ingredients, and I found that I was drawn more to 'earthy foods'. Let me remind you this is not a New Year's resolution, I have no idea where this is coming from, but I'm enjoying this inner peace. It's almost as if my soul has made this resolution and forgot to tell me about it!

I started this blog as a new mother trying to lose weight and find her focus again, and now I'm heading into year 3 as a Mom, and I finally feel that I've found my old self again, and yet I'm changing every day. I can only hope this feeling of contentment stays within me, and I can learn to curb my focus each day to the things that matter to me. With practice and meditation I am learning to quiet my thoughts and choose my reactions to daily events. I'm excited to learn how to love everyone in my life for who they are. And to remove those negative ideas I've held over them for years.

Your world is what you create it to be. If you see beauty in others, they will see beauty in you.